Be forewarned that this is going to be as big a rant as I have ever ranted.
I hate female police officers. I'm sorry if any one takes any offence to this statement, but all woman police officers that I have had contact with have been giant jerk-o's (part of a well ballanced breakfast) including what happened to me this afternoon. So, to first understand this you must know that this morning I was driving to church when at the bottom of a large hill there was a substantial bump in the road which wreaked havok on my already ailed mufler, ripping it savagely from my underbody and throwing it who knows where. So all of a sudden my little four cylinder Honda engine sounded like a pink nightmare. Skip ahead to around 2 in the after-noon same day. My friends and I were attempting to throw our parachute men off the top of the parkade, however, echoing up to the top of the parkade in my new screaming banshee of a car allerted everyone within a one mile radius to my presence. We were shortly joined by none other than, you guessed it, a female RCMP officer who apparently had something to prove. I explained to her that the noise was due to the fact that my mufler fell off just this morning, she would have no part of believing that truth, and she was pretty sure that I had done it all on purpose. I also presently have no passenger seat in the front of my car, no big deal; wrong, a very big deal apparently, as she tells me I've apparently broken the law with that one too. B.S. as I later found out that the Motor Vehicle Act says nothing about a mandatory passenger seat (I did my homework), so I guess she just likes talking shite. She also noticed that my tires are verily bald as racing slicks, her only correct perception all day I'm sure. After this for some reason she decides that my vehicle is now stolen, and she continues to check and recheck the VIN plates, my story of buying the car, and the contents of said car. At this point I'm just like, this is rediculous already. Then she insinuates that I've tampered with the VIN plates, and I've had about enough. It's not until I show her the transfer of ownership papers that she actually believed anything I was saying, and she proceeded to return to her warm running car, to chat it up with the security guard as I freeze my tukus off in the cold. In the end she gives me a ticket for what she said was the tires, the passenger seat, and the mufler (one out of three lady, just a great piece of work). But she generously lowers the fee to the lowest possible, I'm sure because she knows herself that she's full of it. And after nearly acusing me of stealing my own car, and actually acusing me of breaking at least one made up law, she was ever so cordial in departing, as I wanted to slap the smirk off her face. Here's a kicker for you, not thirty feet away there were two kids who we were pretty sure were getting high in their mom's Explorer. Again, just a "Grade A" piece of work there detective. Just when you think you're starting to regain some hope in humanity, they pull through for you once again; fear not, for people are still morons.
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9 comments:
Haha it's so true Kyle!
I've had more run-ins with the po-po then I want to remember, but I do recall one time I got pulled over in Spruce Grove by a female officer. In her view, I had apparently run a red light. Now I have no idea where she was at the time because I saw no other cars on the road at 3am in the morning, but she says she could see me clearly. Problem is, that she couldn't see as clearly as she thought. I entered the intersection on a green, it turned yellow, then red just as I exited the intersection. This road that I was crossing is that friggin wide. 5 lanes each direction plus a wide median in the middle... it makes for a long trek through the yellow light.
So anyways, I turn into the McDonalds parking lot to get some drivethrough and she pulls up behind me a minute later with her lights on.
She claimed I had stomped the gas as the light was clearly yellow and hadn't even made it through half of the intersection before it was red, so it justified her giving me a redlight ticket. But she was wrong and I couldn't really say anything to change her mind because she's a female cop. Any male cops I've hadi incidents with have all been understanding and polite but she was off her meds that day.
To top it off I had the back seat in my Jeep Cherokee folded down and the whole back of my Jeep was piled high with airsoft guns and army gear because I was going to a game in a few hours. I think my glock was sitting on top of a bunch of mags for my M4... She didn't see my glock thankfully but she didnt like the fact that I was a dude driving late at night with a truck full of army stuff so she was absolutely anal to me the whole time. In the end she goes back to her car to write me up and apparently she had run out of tickets in her book so it ended fine for me. I just got to finish going through the drivethrough to get my food with a warning.
But I can relate Kyle... The females are definately out to prove they have bigger balls then the male cops.
Cops suck, armies suck, the government sucks. I too have been harrassed many times by the cops. One time I was tug-o-warring with a cop who was trying to commandeer my brand new 300$ skateboard and he wound up to hit me, but just then he realized that we were filming the whole incident. He gave me back my skateboard (he had already given me a ticket) and drove away pronto. I didn't pay the ticket, and was found innocent in my absence at court. The one time I needed a cop (someone hit me at a red light and drove off)I was told it would take 3 hours to see an officer, no thanks. They are time burglars, pure and simple.
I must say though, the cops here in England are much less SS-like. I think it's because they don't have guns.
As the NOFX song says: "puke on cops".
I reckon I does you men a world of good to get your pride bruised ever now and again. sexist git! Just you wait till I become a cop-lady, I will have to compensate for my height AS WELL as my sex- then you men out there will have to toe the line, and keep you cars spick and span... oh, wait a minuite... Drew has just said I am not aloud to join the police. oh well.
I reckon I does you men a world of good to get your pride bruised ever now and again. sexist git! Just you wait till I become a cop-lady, I will have to compensate for my height AS WELL as my sex- then you men out there will have to toe the line, and keep you cars spick and span... oh, wait a minuite... Drew has just said I am not aloud to join the police. oh well.
opps! how did that post twice- i am so useless on a computer- which is why I don't have a blog- It would be all over the place!
i like reading yours though kyle- you say it as it is!
Don't worry Beth, I'd never call you any names, cuz I'm sure you wouldn't give me a made up ticket when nothing more than a warning was ever due. And I'm not a sexist git, come on now, I simply have yet to see otherwise.
Ok maybe I'm a litle sexist, but I'm a broken man on the inside.
Hey Ky, Hope you are doing good! I was laughing out loud with this post you are good at ranting!
kyle...man it's been like 2 weeks since you updated this thing. wtf?
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